pork, pork chops, and poop.

I have been, until very recently, a TERRIBLE housekeeper, simply awful–the kind of person who doesn’t allow people in her house at all, because it’s just too messy/gross, the kind of person who if myparents didn’t come to visit once a year, and I was forced to do top to bottom cleaning, would end up on “Clean House” or “Hoarders” in a few years.  People think I exaggerate this, but I do not.  That is until I became unemployed.  T supports me fully at this point, and there is no job in sight yet.  It seems only fair that if he is paying all the bills, buys all my grocieries, takes me out to dinner once a week, etc the very least I can do is keep the house clean, cook, do his laundry etc.  This isn’t some weird gender role stuff, it’s simple courtesy and exchange.  If I made all the money, and was supporting him, I would expect the same courtesy.  So, I find myself for the first time since my kids were babies being a full time home maker, and when you have kids, well, the focus is slightly different. I’ve discovered a truth I may have known once and forgotten, or might not have noticed when the kids were little.

The more you clean, the more you have to clean.

Today, I did the floors.  Now, I sweep pretty much every day, cuz we have wood floors (oh, how I love my wood floors!) but I got proper floor cleaning stuff, and was excited to have them all shiny and pretty.  So, I did the floors in the dining room.  But, then I noticed the windows had dog nose prints all over them.  The clean shiny floors made this far more noticeable.  So, I cleaned the dog nose prints off the windows.  While doing that, I became aware that the windowsills were looking a bit dusty, so I cleaned them.  Oh, look there is a tiny lil bit of paint on the floor that I missed when I cleaned up from painting the other day, now let me scrub that up.  Oh, dear, the tablecloth looks all wrinkly surrounded by all this pristine goodness.  wow, I really wish I had an iron, so I could iron the tablecloth, so I’ll just go throw it in the dryer instead.  Wow, these napkins look kind of boring, maybe I should fold them all pretty, let me just google “napkin folding”

and so on.  Cuz when everything is messy, a little bit of dog nose prints or wrinkly table cloth don’t matter so much…..but the cleaner the things around these things are, the more noticeable become.  I guess, the next time I go to the thrift, I’ll look for an iron.  For the tablecloth.


Adventures in Cooking

Tonight, Rebekah (I love the spelling of her name, btw) and Andee are coming for dinner.  Squee!  I’m preparing pulled pork and coleslaw, steamed green beans, vegetarian BBQ for Beka, and we have a guiness cake .  Full details tmw, but here is a little preview.  I forgot to take the big piece of dead pig out of the freezer last night.  The pulled pork has to cook for, like at least 7 or so hours, so it really needed to be in the crock pot by 10 am.  So, here I am in the kitchen with a frozen solid piece of pork at 9 am, trying to figure out how the hell to thaw it.

This is the meat, soaking in hot water.  It laughed (in my brain) at my attempts to run cold water over it.  At one point, I’ve got the meat soaking in the hot water, pouring boiling water into the sink as well.  It never thawed all the way, but it seems cooked all the way through, and still 2 hours to go, so it ended well.

Or, I presume it will.  We’ll see come supper time.


104 in 2011

Last nights insomia read was “When will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops

Now, I love me some George Carlin (RIP).  However, I will admit I was a bit dissapointed in this book.  I suppose, after the other two, I should have expected that it would be another rehash of his stand up stuff, but I had really hoped that it would be something I hadn’t heard already.  Don’t get me wrong, I snickered, and giggled, and probably would have LOLed if Terrence hadn’t been sleeping like a baby next to me…that is, if a baby snored like a bear.   But, some original material might have been nice.  I really only mention it, cuz it was number 17.  So, I”m still far behind, but perhaps the fact that I’m off of Ambian for the first time in about 3 years will allow me to continue the pace of a book a night.

I’m still wading my way through “Why People believe Weird Things”  The last few chapters have a lot to do w/ physics, and space, and science.  There’s big words, and lots of numbers, so I’m kind of dragging through it.  I have to confess, though, I’m quite eager to begin “Persepolis”

It’s one of those books I’ve meant to read forever, and just never seemed to get around to it, but it is next!



Kind of like marriage, and babies, there are things that people don’t really tell you  about pet ownership before you get involved in it, and you have to find out the hard way.  Here is one of those things.


Just like when you have a baby, you will worry a lot more than you ever expected to about poop.  Oh, no, the dog pooped in the house again!  I’ve walked him for twenty minutes, and he still hasn’t pooped!  Oh, jeez, he pooped in the wrong spot, where’s the pooper scooper?   Crap!  Not in the neighbors yard, not in the neighbors yard!  where’s the poop bags? You may even find yourself discussing these things with your co-pet-parent.  Did they poop?  Oh, Thor pooped an awful lot today, maybe the new treats don’t agree w/ him, did you clean up the poop? Occasionaly, albeit not often, you will have to examine the poop, if the dog is sick, or you suspect it may have worms.  If you’re very, very lucky, this may even be how you find out your dog has worms….Um, am I crazy, or is there something moving in that poop?

Well, in the words of a famous philospher, “Shit Happens.”


Don’t eat the potatoes! They aren’t potatoes!


The kind of cooking catastrophe a nascent housekeeping blogger can only dream of.

Last nights dinner was to be a simple affair.  Paprika Chicken, Mashed potatoes, boiled cabbage.

It, however, did not work out that way. at. all.

The first problem was minor.  The first time I made paprika chicken, I used a recipe from a library book, which I had fully intended to type out, save as a gmail document, and would then have handy for my cooking pleasure.  As you probably gather by the phrase “fully intended” I did not do this before I returned the book.  Oh, well, no big deal, I think–surely the internets has a paprika chicken recipe, it’s not exactly esoteric.  Well, the internets did, but none of them were quite as I recalled.  So, I muddled through.

2 smallish onions (in place of one big one)

3 chicken breasts (in place of the whole fryer chicken)

3 tablespoons  of paprika (in place of the 1 tablespoon, 1 because well, I like paprika, and 2 because I spilled a bunch of it)

an unmeasured amount of sour cream (in place of the 1.5 cups, cuz by then I was tired of screwing w/ it)

half a stick of butter (which was precisely the amount the recipe called for)

brown onion, add paprika and chicken and water, cooking, add sour cream.

It was ok…not as good as the last time I made it, but ok.

but the real disaster?  The disaster which set me howling w/ laughter to the point where I could barely eat?  The disaster for which this blog entry is titled?

Mashed potatoes.

Now, gentle reader, you should know that mashed potatoes are like my crack.  I love mashed potatoes rivaled only by my love of doughnuts, good danish, and a multitude of other things diabetics should eschew.  So, it was with great excitement that I thawed the leftover mashed potatoes from the freezer, mixed them w/ fresh mashed potatoes (instant, I’m ashamed to say, we’re out of potatoes) added salt and pepper and butter.

I sat down at the table, and went straight for the potatoes.and my internal dialogue went a little something like this

..mmmmmm, mashed potatoes…..

wait…..these are awful sweet…..potatoes aren’t sweet……did I accidently add something sweet to them……the texture is off, too…..Self, are you sure those were potatoes in the freezer cuz these potatoes taste an awful lot like……..


Yup, I had mistaken frozen sugar cookie dough for mashed potatoes.

let the mockery commence, I deserve it.


Engagement pictures are being done tmw.  In preperation for this “epic” event—and by epic, I mean we’re going to the target photo studio, because we are too broke to afford a proper photography session…..I’m experiment w/ hair styles.  This involved rag curling my hair last night.  I was a sexy beast, let me tell you.

This is not me, as I didn’t have the presence of mind to take a picture to delight and amuse last night.

This, however, is me after the curlers have been removed, and brushed out a bit.

(please ignore the face, I had just woken up)  I like the curls, though they are a bit out of control, I think perhaps a bit less brushing, and a bit more mousse and crimping should do the trick nicely.

This is how it looks w/ my hair pulled back from my face:

(I’ve had a bit more caffeine at this point)

and a final option: The hat

I have to say, I’m leaning towards the hat, or around my face, but slightly less pouffy.

Thoughts and opinions are certainly welcome.  And fear not, I will not be wearing the little house on the prairie nightgown for the engagement pics.  I’ll be wearing a little black dress, which manages to be flattering and show off my tattoos a bit.  I tend to view my ink like I would jewelry–I paid good money for them,and I when it can be managed, or is appropriate, I like to show them.


Just finished watching all the Harry Potter movies w/ T. (I seem to have abandoned all my fine upstanding moral views on getting films from the internet fairies) .  It was fun watching them with him, as I am a huge potterhead, and have been on a real HP kick lately, and he never had any desire to watch them, but I convinced him (season 5 of Dr. Who, Here I come).  It would get a bit frustrating at times, however, because T would do this…(here there be spoilers)

during “Prisoner of Askaban”, the first time we see Mad eye Moody drinking surreptitiously from a bottle .

Terrence says:  Oh, that’s polyjuice potion, that must be Barty Crouch jr.

or, during “Deathly Hallows 1”, during the tale of the three brothers–

So, that’s Dumbledore’s wand, and Harry’s cloak.

GAH!  Stop figuring everything out!!!!


in the News:

Earthquake in New Zealand kills 65. Apparently, lots of historic buildings were destroyed, and the epicenter was something like 3 miles from Christchurch.  I find myself wondering which buildings, and following the story a bit more closely than I often do world news concerning earthquakes in far away places, because of a little movie called Heavenly Creatures.

For some reason, I felt a strange affinity for this film, and have watched it at least a 100 times, never failing to sob at the closing scene– (this is the closing scene, so you might not want to watch it if you plan on watching the film).  The movie is based on true Parker-Hulme murder, and is very much a story of Christchurch,touching on class relations, gender roles, etc etc.  I can go on about this movie for hours (in fact, I have) but suffice it to say that part of my concern for the city of Christchurch is directly related to the movie, which actually opens with a clip of a tourist film on Christchurch.

Also, it goes without saying that we should think positive healing thoughts, and for those of who are so inclined, prayers for the people of New Zealand.



It’s gettin scary out there


A friend posted last week on her FB “is it me, or is it getting a lot like the Handmaid’s tale” up in here?”  (paraphrase).  She was being funny/ironic but pointing out that there is some very scary anti woman legislation being attempted.  But Today, when I saw this story,

http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/georgia-rep-investigate-miscarriage/ I started to wonder if maybe Heidi wasn’t right.

Seriously, in the last month or so, there have been attempts to pass laws that make a rape victim an “accuser” , attempts to make it legal to kill somebody performing an abortion, a police officer has told a group of college women that the way to avoid rape is to “dress less slutty,” Maryland is justifing cutting funds for headstart by saying that woman should be home w/ their children anyway. Oh, and never let us forget that their is also a move afoot to change the defination of rape altogether, so that the only rape that “counts” is the kind that is the most rare, stranger rape.  Or the plan to defund Planned Parenthood.

WTF, America?  I thought we voted the Republicans (and by “we” I mean whoever actually did it, cuz it wasn’t me!) to help create jobs, and fix the economy.  And yet, it seems that from all over the country, we have anti-woman laws turning up all over the place.  I fail to see how any of these are going to help the economy, or really accomplish anything but making the population of the poor who can’t afford birth control though any means but planned parenthood get even bigger, which it seems to me would INCREASE the economic problems–more people, less jobs, more poverty.  Cutting fund for headstart and planned parenthood is a terrible, penny wise pound foolish way to fight the deficit.  I can shrug off the moron who suggested that “woman stay home w/ their kids like his wife did” as sheer ignorance–obviously this poo poo head is not aware of the reality of supporting children in America.

So, no planned parenthood, no abortion, (hell, if Georgia has it’s way, even spontaneous abortion could be actionable), more kids, less education for them….Keeping the biggest part of the population always breeding, uneducated, and  in inescapable poverty worked really well for the Russian tzars and the French monarchy.  Oh, wait.

Yup, this sounds like a GREAT plan to make things better.

I was going to discuss the recent rape laws that are being proposed,  but realized I am far too angry about them to be coherent, so we shall save that for a later date, shall we?

On to more cheerful topics:


Cooking adventures

Dinner w/ the Thom was a great success!  I enjoyed his children immensely, though being around teenage boys made me miss my sons in a way I’m not willing to write about at this point.  I cooked pulled pork using the following method.

1.  Take big piece of dead pig, I believe we used a loin cut

2.  put it in the crock pot

3.  add ginger ale and Guiness.

4.  put on high for about 6 hours.

5.   drain liquid,  and shred pork using a fork.

6.  Add bbq sauce of your choice, and put it back in the crock pot for another hour or so, the longer the better

7.  eat the hell out of it w/ friends and family.

This was so easy I couldn’t believe it.  I didn’t make the bbq sauce from scratch this time, but that is the goal for the next time.  I’m not even a big fan of the pork, but this was astounding.  Also, next time, I think I’m going to try using diet ginger ale, to cut down on the sugar content.  I also made homemade coleslaw using this recipe. It was tasty, though a bit bland.  I would suggest using a bit more vinegar than the recipe calls for.  I would also recommend getting the white balsamic vinegar instead of the red.  I used the red, and while it tasted fine, the red color results in the coleslaw looking….dingy, for lack of a better word.

For afters, I had planned to make my guiness cake, which I need to keep practicing, as I am planning on cooking one for the March 17 nuptials.  I had melted the butter, poured in the Guiness and sugar, and was toodling happily away when I realized that I had no more flour.  Moral of the story:  Make sure you have ALL ingrediants before melting a stick and a half of butter, and wasting half of a perfectly good beer!

The company itself was excellent.  Thom’s sons are polite and good conversationalists, quick witted and able to keep up with the sarcastic/affectionate banter of the adults, but equally willing to be entertained by really old episodes of Dr. Who while the adults visit among themselves.  One of the highlights of the evening for me was watching Terrence w/ the kids.


104 in 2011

Today’s book is “Why people Believe Weird Things”  Just to note, I’m not really deliberately going on a skeptical/atheist reading binge, I’m just reading the books T recently unpacked.  This one is actually really interesting, primarily because it doesn’t necessarily deal w/ athieism at all, concentrating on the idea of “creation science”, Holocaust Deniers, Alien abductions, and things like that.  It isn’t as personally challenging to read as the last book, but does make me think about the weird things I believe, and why I believe them, and if I really do even believe them, or just observe the superstitions out of habit/tradition.  For example, do I really believe that untoward disaster should befall me if I say “Macbeth”—well, not not REALLY.  But I still avoid saying it.  Do I REALLY think that it’s bad luck to spill salt?  No, of course not, but I still dutifully sprinkle a little bit out, and throw it over my left shoulder when I do.  With such things, I tend to take a “why take chances?” attitude.  “Why People do Weird Things” is definatly a thought provoking read, and actually addresses some of thing things I’ve wondered about, and provides quite reasonable explanations for some of theweirder beliefs out there.

I’ve been trying to do a “tune in tmw” at the end of each post, not so much to titillate readers, as at this point I don’t really think I have very many, but mostly as a way to focus my own topics.  However, Tmw I believe I shall go wherever the day leads me.